The first few weeks of high school can be stressful and down right challenging for many. Parents understand that it is time to begin the “letting go” phase and instead, start supporting and empowering their children. It’s not that easy though is it? Parents have concerns and unless you have other children that have gone through this process, everything is new and unknown. Don’t worry, it’s normal to feel this way.
Research shows that students learn best when allowed to take full ownership of their academic life. I am not proposing that your child make all decisions and have full autonomy just yet, since many kids are still trying to find their other shoe. Know your child and do your best to give guided instruction, while allowing some freedom. Remember, they’re nervous too, whether they show it or not. And, contrary to what they say or do, they actually do want guidance. Set aside some time to have a guided discussion about the transition and make a light engagement over ice cream, dinner, or any other relaxing engagement. Below are some helpful tips and topics of discussion to guide you through your conversation and beyond.
Bell Schedule
Sit with your child and encourage him/her to access the bell schedule on the school website. Take some time to familiarize your child with the schedule. Take it a step further and print a visual of the school map along with your child’s schedule and do a side by side analysis. Help your child to visualize a typical school day by taking them through the map and bell schedule. This will help to alleviate anxieties during the first week and develop confidence.
School Resources
You’d be surprised at how many resources you can find on your school’s website. Most schools have a website with a search engine at the top right that you can type your questions into. If you are unable to find the answer to your question on the website, contact the single most underrated person on a school campus – the ASB Director. The ASB Director will be able to supply you with dates of important events such as, Freshman Orientation and Club Day, two life changing events going into 9th grade. Other valuable resources on campus include current students in positions of leadership, counselors, as well as teachers and coaches.
Build Relationships
Developing strong bonds immediately with teachers is very important during the transition. Keep in mind that some teachers are better at this than others, so don’t get discouraged. Take time before school or after school to pop by a teacher’s classroom and formally introduce yourself. It is important to proceed with awareness and thoughtfulness. Teachers get busy, therefore it is important that we respect their time and space. That being said, teachers will usually go that extra mile for you if you are able to genuinely demonstrate interest in them and in the subject they teach.
Make New Friends
This piece might be the single most difficult part of the transition. The thought of moving to a new school with different students and essentially starting over can be daunting for kids. Encourage your child to look for like minded kids and ask him/her to reach out. Suggest to your daughter/son the she/he ask someone to lunch, ball game or performance after school. While inviting kids to your house is a nice way to get to know kids, finding common ground through school run activities might be more fruitful. Encourage your child to take risks and make it clear to them that they have nothing to lose if they do not make the team or the play. Emphasize that what they will gain life skills but also friendships through the process.
Stay positive and remember to never do for your child what they can do for themselves. Guided instruction is key, so too are realistic expectations.
Yours in academic success,
Jesse Gonzalez
